A henpecked man and his wife went on holiday to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The local undertaker told the husband, ‘You can have her shipped home for £5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land, for £150.’ The man thought about it and told him he would just as soon have her shipped home. The undertaker was surprised. ‘Why would you spend £5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and only cost you £150?’ The man replied, ‘Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.’

Her husband was so henpecked, he had to wash and iron his own apron.

I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine, he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.

Adult: One old enough to know better.

You haven’t nagged me all evening, darling. Is there someone else?