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This Will Make You Laugh

5 Medicine Jokes

1
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Did you hear about the pharmaceutical company developing a suppository made from the leaves of palm trees? Their marketing slogan is ‘With Fronds Like These, Who Needs Enemas?’
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2
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Granddad comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grandchildren, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day. His son notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so. Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to his son. ‘Read that label. That’s why!’ The son takes the bottle and reads, ‘Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.’
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3
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Have you heard about the wine which cures incontinence? It’s made from a new grape variety – Pinot More.
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4
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I’m so depressed … my doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.
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5
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What did one virus say to another? Stay away, I think I’ve got penicillin!
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Your Medicine Jokes
6
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I phoned the swine flu helpline-all I got was a load of crackling
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7
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Worry over swine flu is over - Doctors have discovered new OINK-ment!
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8
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A pharmacist returns from his lunch break to find a man leaning against the counter in a very tense way. "What"s the matter with him?", he asks his new, pretty blonde assistant. "He came in with a really bad cough, and asked me for some strong cough medicine", she replied. "I couldn"t find any on the shelf, so I gave him a strong laxative instead. He swallowed the lot!" "You stupid girl", the pharmacist yelled. "Laxatives won"t cure a cough" "They"re working for him" she pointed out. He"s been standing there for ages,without moving, and he hasn"t coughed once since he took them!"
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9
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i quit smoking the other day yeah i tried those nicorette patches i swear if you put one over each eye you can"t find your fags
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Man Walks Into A Joke: The Ultimate Collection of Jokes and One-Liners