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For our anniversary my wife said she wanted to go somewhere she’d never been before. I said, ‘How about the kitchen?’
He asked how they should celebrate their twenty-five years of marriage. She suggested a twominute silence.
A farmer and his wife are preparing their wedding anniversary dinner. The wife says, ‘Should I go out and kill a chicken?’ The husband replies, ‘Why blame a bird for something that happened twenty years ago?’
A 60-year-old couple are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. During the celebration a fairy appears and says that, since they have been such a loving couple, she’ll give them each one wish. The wife wishes to travel around the world. The fairy waves her wand and poof! She has a handful of plane tickets. Next, it’s the husband’s turn. He pauses for a moment, then says, ‘I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.’ So the fairy picks up her wand and poof! He’s 90.
A couple decide to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary by booking the suite where they had their honeymoon. They have breakfast in bed and the wife says, ‘My dear, this is so romantic. My breasts feel all warm and tingly.’ ‘I’m not surprised,’ replies her husband. ‘One’s hanging in your coffee and the other’s lying on my bacon.’
A couple married for forty years are revisiting the places they went to on their honeymoon. As they drive through the countryside they pass a ranch surrounded by a deer fence. The wife says, ‘Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did right here forty years ago.’ So the couple get out of the car and make frantic love against the fence. Back in the car the husband says, ‘Darling, you went crazy out there! You sure never moved like that forty years ago – or any time since!’ The wife replies, ‘Yeah? Well, forty years ago that fence wasn’t electrified!’
On their fortieth wedding anniversary a man says to his wife, ‘Whatever you want, just name it and I’ll buy it for you. It doesn’t matter how much it costs. Just say what you’d like for our anniversary.’ She replies, ‘A divorce.’ ‘To be honest,’ he says. ‘I wasn’t thinking of spending quite that much.’
Tom says to Harry, ‘You’re having an anniversary soon, aren’t you?’ ‘Yes,’ says Harry. ‘A big one, 20 years.’ ‘Wow,’ says Tom. ‘What gift are you going to get your wife?’ Harry replies, ‘A trip to Australia.’ ‘That’s impressive,’ says Tom. ‘But how will you top that on your 25th anniversary?’ ‘Don’t know,’ says Harry. ‘I’ll probably pay her fare back.’
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