The ultimate collection of jokes and one liners!
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‘Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.’ Charles Dudley Warner
Harry had a fantastic country house with two wings, sadly it flew off the last time they had a big storm.
Harry to Tom: ‘How did you find the weather while you were away?’ Tom: ‘It was just outside the front door.’
I’m saving up for a rainy day. So far I’ve got a sou’wester, two macintoshes and a canoe.
It was so cold the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.
People always complain about the weather, but no one ever seems to do anything about it.
The weather was terrible on my holiday. Mind you, I did come home brown – with rust.
Thirty people are sheltering under an umbrella. How many of them get wet? None – who said it was raining?
What’s a bigamist? An Italian fog.
The drought here is terrible. The lawn’s cracked, the plants have all died because of the hosepipe ban, and I can’t wash my car – and do we see any famous Africans getting together to do a charity single?
An old man came up to me at the cash machine and asked me to…
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, th…
A lady who had been married for several years was growing mo…
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a dyslexic
squidd…
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Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrigs disease - how'd he not s…
A man shows up late for work. His boss yells, "You should ha…
Two men, both deformed from birth, meet nightly in the pub t…
What"s the most common owl in the British Isles? The Teat Ow…