Welcome to Man Walks Into A Joke
The ultimate collection of jokes and one liners!
Whether you want to write the perfect best man speech, using our wedding or marriage jokes, or tease your friends about their age on their birthday, we have the ideal joke for you. We also have all the favourites such as jokes about lawyers, blondes, knock knock, and of course the good old lightbulb and doctor doctor jokes.
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I know carrots are good for the eyes, but it nearly makes me blind sticking them in.
Current topic is Weather
‘Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.’ Charles Dudley Warner
Harry had a fantastic country house with two wings, sadly it flew off the last time they had a big storm.
Harry to Tom: ‘How did you find the weather while you were away?’ Tom: ‘It was just outside the front door.’
I’m saving up for a rainy day. So far I’ve got a sou’wester, two macintoshes and a canoe.
It was so cold the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.
People always complain about the weather, but no one ever seems to do anything about it.
The weather was terrible on my holiday. Mind you, I did come home brown – with rust.
Thirty people are sheltering under an umbrella. How many of them get wet? None – who said it was raining?
What’s a bigamist? An Italian fog.
The drought here is terrible. The lawn’s cracked, the plants have all died because of the hosepipe ban, and I can’t wash my car – and do we see any famous Africans getting together to do a charity single?