The ultimate collection of jokes and one liners!

 

Whether you want to write the perfect best man speech, using our wedding or marriage jokes, or tease your friends about their age on their birthday, we have the ideal joke for you. We also have all the favourites such as jokes about lawyers, blondes, knock knock, and of course the good old lightbulb and doctor doctor jokes.

 

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Current topic is Sport  ‘Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.’ Tiger Woods
 ‘I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, “Wait till it gets warmer.”’ Rodney Dangerfield
 ‘I was watching the Indy 500. I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.’ Steven Wright
 A cowardly matador used to go into the arena with a white sheet instead of a red cape. If things got rough he surrendered.
 He used to be an all-round athlete. Now he’s just all round.
 Mama Bear and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand. The judge says, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies. "He beats me." The judge then asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies. "She beats me too." So the judge says, "So who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody."
 My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.
 The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
 There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.
 There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.